Qualifications

What are the top 5 qualities you look for in a significant other?

I would be lying if I were to say that physical attraction wasn't part of my top 2.  I ask this because as many of you might know I am on a number of different dating websites and the first thing I look at are pictures.  If I'm not physically attracted to you then it doesn't go any further than me looking at their profile pictures.  That's right! I don't even bother opening up the message they sent me. Wrong of me?  A lot of you know I'm not all about looks nor am I THAT shallow of a person but the truth is if I don't want to jump on your bones I don't bother.  Question is, why?

Coming home to a sexy man means a lot to me.  It'll make me work that much harder to remain sexy for him.  Physical attraction plays a major role in relationships and how we view potential mates.  Allow me to share some facts with you.

Study show that the more symmetrical a person is the larger the chances are that to our eye they are more attractive.  This is because during the reproduction phase when cells split the idea is that they split evenly creating an offspring that is equal on the left and right side.  When we see an symmetrical person our brain automatically processes that  he/she would be a great human to produce children with.

Another reason is that when looking at a woman's face due to the amount of estrogen in the womb during pregnancy a woman will have a smaller jaw line and bigger eyes making her more attractive to the male species.  On the other hand the more testosterone in the womb forces men to have more protruding jaw line and prominent brow.

So I'm not so shallow after all and it's actually not physical attractiveness that I'm more draw to but rather healthy fertility of a mate!

A quick reminder !

I wrote this the beginning of January and its sometimes wonderful to look back at what you set forth for yourself.  Aahhhh now I remember!

Although it’s not the New Year yet I can already feel changes and new beginnings happening in my life.
I felt it the moment I realized that I need and deserve better.   The moment I was able to sleep through what would normally be one of my sleepless night for me and no I’m not talking about Christmas eve…(although I recently got over that excite as well)
Anyway when you’ve been through so much in life (Dear Life, please do not take this as a cue to throw some more sht my way. I’m happily dealing with the sht I have on my plate right now) you realize that there’s only so much you can handle and that that’s fine and you know what you want to deal with and what you’re willing to put on the back burner and never deal with again.  When I was younger it was so hard for me to walk away from things I wanted in life but now I know I can’t always get what I want but I am more than capable of getting what I deserve (growing pains).
I’m far better off with this mind set because what you want might sometimes be toxic to your health whether you know it or not.  I wish people came with a warning label.
Mine would read: WARNING: smart, intelligent, caring woman.  Gives 100% and expects 100% in return.  A Queen for a King who is hyper-sexual and a little bipolar.  Enter if you dare.
What would yours say?

Dating Someone with Kids

So I’ve recently started dating again (I don’t know why I say again because its never again it’s always just dating I’m just learning how to take things easy and not go from friend to girlfriend in t-7days) and one of the guys I’m dating has recently had a child.  This isn’t new to me but last time I dated a man with a child I was 19 and he was 10 yrs my elder and made me believe that he was leaving her to be with me (moved in and everything).  This man/boy had my heart and soul in the palm of my hands only to find out that he was playing games with the both of us.  It was hard for me and at 20 I said goodbye to this 30 yr old man who had toyed with my heart for a year.
blah blah blah years pass and here I am in the same situation
Now let me break it down for you all, this was just suppose to be a simple “hi bye thank you very much” type of situation.  Homie had way too much to deal with for me to even entertain anything more between us.  Who was we kidding (that southern slang starting to rub off on me) ?
Well here I am dating a man with a 5wk old son who hasn’t been with the mother since pregnancy for understandable reasons, but none that my readers need to concern themselves with.
This past weekend was Christmas and of course I had to take a backseat to his son.  Which would have been fun had his mother not been all up in the mix, but the kid is 5 weeks and she’s afraid to leave the baby alone with his father just yet and I honestly can’t blame her.
Having to be patient and wait to see what happens is bothersome.  Perhaps because I am a control freak and I like knowing whats next. Once things get started on a certain path I like to keep them on that path.  I don’t want to bring any added stress to home boy’s life right now so I’m just letting this ride and doing me in the mean time but goodness is it hard.
I believe that it is much different to date a mother with kids than it is to date a father with kids. How often and how the parents interact play a major role in the situation as well.  I cannot work on anything close to falling in love with this man if he’s busy falling in love with his son.  Neither would I want to get in between that.  I believe that it is very important for him to build a relationship and be around his son as much as he wants/needs.  But being around his BM?  That doesn’t sit well with me… who am I to say what though, right?
Have you ever dated a man/woman who recently had a kid? How did you feel about it?  Pro’s Con’s?